


A Lifetime's Worth of Crushing and Waiting

by youtomyme



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But nothing underage except for small kisses, M/M, Mentions of an adult crushing on a minor and vice versa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 12:24:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youtomyme/pseuds/youtomyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean was a kid, he had a crush on one of the next door neighbour's son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lifetime's Worth of Crushing and Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> For kototyph at Tumblr for Christmas.

When Dean was a kid, he had a crush on the next door neighbour's second child, who was six years older than him. The two families were friends, so Dean found a lot of excuses to pop in next door just to talk to him.

Dean also liked to try to trap Gabriel underneath the mistletoe every Christmas to get a kiss. It often turned into a game of cat-and-mouse, with Dean trying to surprise Gabriel, and stringing up mistletoe in every place possible. Gabriel never minded, and he always humoured Dean once he was caught. At first, he would only kiss Dean on the cheek, but when Dean was twelve, he pecked his lips briefly, and Dean was over the moon for a week. 

When Dean turned fourteen, it was no longer cool to have a crush on the neighbour's second-eldest son, and Dean didn't drop by so often anymore. 

'How come you never try to kiss me anymore, huh?' Gabriel teased one Christmas Eve when Dean was sixteen. 

'Shove off, Gabe,' Dean scowled. 

'Don't you like me anymore?' Gabriel asked with mock wide-eyed hurt. 

'Go away,' Dean said, getting up and storming off. 

In all truthfulness, Dean did still like Gabriel. He still adored all of Gabriel's clever tricks, his handsome eyes, and amazing pie-baking abilities. But none of his friends liked their older neighbours. They all liked girls. Dean liked girls. He thought Cassie was very pretty, and Lisa made him laugh. But he liked Gabriel far more. 

Still, he wanted to fit in. So he asked Cassie to the movies with him. And, to his horror, Gabriel was there with a couple of friends from law school. 

'Dean!' he cried out when he saw him, and waved. Heart slowly descending into his stomach, Dean waved back half-heartedly. But he couldn't help being pleased when Gabriel broke away from his friends to come over. 

'Are you here with a date?!' Gabriel said upon spotting Cassie. 'Good on you to finally get over me, Dean. I'm Gabriel,' he said to Cassie, extending a hand. 

'Cassie.' She shook hands with him, looking slightly mystified. 

'Take care of Dean over here for me, okay?' Gabriel said, ruffling Dean's hair. 'He's a passionate lover. You're lucky to have him.'

'Um, thanks.'

'See you at home, Dean.' Gabriel waved again and left. 

It wasn't until they were inside the theatre that Dean realised he was feeling hurt because, judging from Gabriel's casual manner, he'd never harboured feelings for Dean at all. 

The next day, Cassie said she couldn't date Dean anymore, and Dean ran home and shouted at Gabriel. 

'This is all your fault!' he yelled. Gabriel, who'd been typing up an essay on his laptop, looked at him in astonishment. 

'What is?'

'Cassie is! She broke up with me!'

'I'm sorry.' Gabriel shut his laptop and put it down. Any other day, Dean would have been delighted that Gabriel was putting aside his work for him, but today, he didn't even notice it. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

'Hell no! You talked to me when we were at the cinema and she thought I was a weirdo for ever liking you!'

'Dean, I'm so sorry,' Gabriel said, and he was suddenly blinking rapidly. 'I didn't mean -'

'I don't care! You've ruined everything! She'll tell everyone at school and no one will ever date me ever again!'

Gabriel didn't try to speak again, and Dean left in a flurry of emotions. 

The next day, he was so horrified at having shouted at his crush, he didn't talk to him the next day. Or the next. Or the day after that. And so on, until one day, Castiel moved out of the room he shared with Uriel and into Gabriel's. 

'Where's Gabriel?' Dean asked him. 

'He said he wanted to live on campus now and moved out yesterday,' Castiel answered. 

Several times over the week, Dean debated calling him, but chickened out. What would he say? Sorry? Gabriel probably wouldn't even care. 

-

'It's Unattached Drifter Christmas!' Keith bellowed into the room. Dean didn't even flinch from his laptop. 

'No thanks, I've got work to do in the library.'

'You're so fucking boring, Dean!' Keith whined. 'You flirt with everyone but do you ever actually sleep with anybody?'

'Go away, Keith, I'm busy.'

'Suit yourself,' Keith shrugged. 'More for me.' He left. 

Several minutes later, Dean packed up his laptop and several books to go to the library. He had nothing against Valentine's Day. He just didn't have a date, and didn't want to spend it in a bar like a sad, lonely person (even though he was one), because his mother had raised him better than that. 

He'd called his mother earlier that day and wished her a happy Valentine's day. She had laughed and thanked him, and called him her little angel. 

'Not got a date for today?' said the librarian sympathetically when he came in. 

'Just haven't found the right guy yet,' Dean said, almost on autopilot. 

'You and another guy back in the local records,' she said, jerking her head in that direction. 

'Poor guy.'

She offered him a chocolate with a stern warning about what would happen if she found a book with dirty fingerprints on it. He saluted her and drifted off, nibbling on it happily. 

Dean had come in with the intention to read up on his paper about the Roman Empire (he always had to pause and think before he could ever remember why he'd taken a course in history in the first place), but somehow ended up reading old papers. These were interesting too. As he was engrossed in an article about a riot that had broken out in the town in the 1953, he heard a sneeze, and then a voice cursing the dusty newspapers. Dean chuckled and turned the corner with every intention of saying 'hello' to his fellow lonely, sad bachelor on Valentine's Day. 

When he did, his heart stopped and his stomach did somersaults. He couldn't even move in time before Gabriel turned around, and his jaw dropped. 

There was a moment of tense silence as Dean debated whether he should acknowledge Gabriel's presence, or simply pretend it had never happened, and then Gabriel cleared his throat and said 'Hi, Dean.'

'Hi Gabriel,' Dean answered, surprised that he didn't stutter. 'What are you doing here?'

'Um, I have a case in town and was looking up records.'

'Oh.'

They stared at each other for several more seconds. 

'Don't you have a date today?' Dean tried timidly.

'What? No, the guy I like wasn't around.'

Even after all these years, the simple reply made Dean's insides twist into knots. But then again, why wouldn't it? Dean had never stopped crushing on Gabriel, no matter how many years of avoiding him during Christmas and Thanksgiving said otherwise. Nobody had ever been able to come close to the standards Gabriel had reached in Dean's heart. 

'What about you?' Gabriel asked. 

'Same,' he mumbled. 

'Sorry,' Gabriel said, and the word itself made Dean hurt all over. 'A-anyway, I'll see you around, D-'

'No, wait!' Dean said, reaching out for Gabriel's arm. He almost didn't know why he did it, but he knew he couldn't avoid the subject forever. And maybe if he said it aloud, he could finally move past Gabriel. He mentally snorted at the thought. Yeah, like he'd ever get over Gabriel. 

'Something wrong, Dean?'

'L-look, Gabe -'

'Do you want to sit down?' Gabriel asked abruptly, and Dean dropped his arm, nodding sheepishly. Gabriel led them to a couple of armchairs in a corner, and Dean sat down without thinking much about it. 'So what's up, Dean?'

'I just -' he swallowed. It was a moment before he could begin again, but Gabriel was patient. 'I just want to say sorry,' he said finally. 

'For what?' Gabriel said, and he sounded genuinely surprised. 

'For shouting at you. When Cassie broke up with me. It wasn't your fault, 'course it wasn't.' Dean had to inhale deeply before he could continue, and he almost couldn't because Gabriel was scrutinising him so intensely. 'Truth is, I still liked you then, but I wanted to fit in at school so badly, I pretended I didn't. Everyone said Sammy and I were weird, and I didn't want to be, so I ended up yelling at you. I'm sorry.'

A low chuckle was the last thing he'd been expecting, and he looked at Gabriel with surprise. 

'What?' he said. 

'Nothing. I just never thought you had anything to apologise for.' Gabriel shrugged. 'I thought I should be the one saying sorry. I know I chased your girlfriend away, but I never knew how to fix it. So I ran away instead.'

'It's not your fault,' Dean muttered embarrassedly. 

'Do you know how heartbroken I've been all these years because you'd never even look at me?' Gabriel said. His tone was light, but Dean could hear the pain behind it, and it touched him. 'I thought you'd never talk to me again. It was torture.'

'I thought you were just mad at me,' Dean admitted. 

'Even if I was, I could never stay mad at you,' Gabriel retorted. 'I've been waiting for you to grow up for years, and when you finally did, you didn't want me anymore, and I still wanted you. How do you think I'm supposed to stay mad at you for something so trivial through all that?'

These words took an impossibly long time to reach Dean. 'What...?' he said finally. 

'I haven't dated anyone in years because I've missed you so much.' Gabriel looked down and scuffed his shoes absently. 'I'm happy that I've met you here today, and that you're talking to me again. For some reason, it makes everything worth it.'

'Oh my God!' Dean blurted out. 'You like me!'

'Yes, if I still haven't made it clear why I'm alone on Unattached Drifter Christmas,' Gabriel said, rolling his eyes. 

'And I've spent six years agonising over the fact that you hate me!' Dean moaned. 'I could've had you this whole time!'

'Not this whole time,' Gabriel corrected. 'Only about four of those years.'

'Screw this!'

'Yep.'

It occurred to Dean then that Gabriel was doing a lot of talking, so he leaned forward and shut him up with a kiss. Gabriel didn't even hesitate in kissing back, and how was Dean only noticing now that he had grown taller than Gabriel, where had Gabriel learned to kiss like that, why was Gabriel always so warm, and the feeling of Gabriel's lips against his own, Gabriel's tongue licking burning paths into his mouth, filled Dean up until he felt ready to burst with joy. 

'Not bad at all, Dean,' Gabriel breathed when they pulled away. Dean was practically in Gabriel's lap now, and Gabriel's hold was possessive. 'Almost worth waiting for.'

'Never going to let you run away ever again,' Dean whispered against Gabriel's lips. 

'Can't argue with that.'


End file.
